The Musings of a Fine Young Gentleman

So I have started a blog. I think my main function here is basically going to be taking up page space with crap that takes up my head space but really isn't going to be able to sit in a story or poem or whathaveyou. I want this to be the place where I can talk about how annoying it is when my dogs eat cat shit out of the litter box, or how much it bothers me that hipsters killed irony. Pretty much a saturation of ranty anecdotes or stories about shit I think is funny, or sad, or annoying.

So to get in the spirit of blogish things I would like to tell you about the best part of my day so far:

I went to lunch with a friend of mine today and he drove, so I saw no reason as I left my house to bring my keys, but out of force of habit, I locked the door when I left, locking myself out. Woopie. But a simple annoyance became a pretty awesome experience when I was trying to break into my own house. My house backs up to a bike path. The Path always seems to lead to some fun people watching, I.E. crazy old ladies doing super sweet lunge moves in grey track suits, or the very bizarre Mongolian man who walks and talks with his  Pomeranians (both of whom have better hair than him.)

 But today as I was climbing my back fence, I saw an epic battle ensue between to bikers riding in opposite directions on the path. In the red corner: an old dude on a ten speed with a trucker hat and a blue windbreaker that looked like one of those plastic-bag-rain-coats. In the blue corner: an aging metal guy riding a similar bike (no doubt because his license has been taken away because of a DUI) rocking the FUCK out to Slayer on a pair of small portable speakers attached to his backpack. Metal guy wasn't watching what he was doing because he was too busy being metal and rocking out, so he ended up riding right in to the path of the old guy. The old guy had to swerve off the path and into the grass where he had some highly skilled off-road moves on his ten-speed. Old guy then proceeded to turn around and yell, "God damn you, you stupid bastard!" and our metal friend turned around, pointed and laughed at geriatric windbreakermcgee. I guess somewhere in me I should find this situation sad in a what's the world coming to kind of way, but really I was just happy to see two generations of men, one young and one old hating each other over improper bike path technique. America, fuck yeah.